Sweet Sacrifice
by kaitalaforever
Summary: Yaoi. One-shot. A dark, depressing love story told from Kai's perspective


**Disclaimer: **The Beyblade series and characters – I own it not.

**Warnings: **M. Self-harm, eating disorders, sexual abuse. Very angsty, very depressing. That being said, I still think it's a good story/poem and it's worth reading.

x0x0x0x0x0x0x

You're standing beside me

My back bent over

Like an empty ghost

My head trapped

In between the wooden planks

Of this guillotine

I said

_"I want to die"_

But you replied, a promise;

_"I'll save you."_

We used to be the best of friends

As children

And in our mid-teens

We became lovers

The perfect match

That everyone looked down upon

But the flaws

Were what made our bond

So strong

In the daytime I watched you blade

So light on your feet

And twirl

With the angel wings

Meant just for me

In the dark of night

You'd finger the bruises,

Your swollen knees

I iced,

From kneeling and begging

Him off

Some nights

I'd sneak in through the window

And wipe

Your flushed face

With the back of my sleeves

And kiss the scars you were making

With the bastard's own razor

All over your stomach and arms

I'd dress you

Gently

And mend your torn clothes

Tidy your hair and wash your wrists

Then place my hand over your eyes

As we walked past the brute

I recall once

Your tore up your sleeve

And pointed at the triangular gap

Where my thighs should be

_"This is what you're doing to yourself"_

You screamed

And painted another seed

Into your bloody forest

I licked the blood

And replied;

_"I know, because nothing else will feed me"_

What held us together

Was damaging

We were both circus freaks

With our own travelling show

People pointed

At the two

Inhuman humans

My sharpened frame

And your soluble mind

But it never mattered

So long as we were together

We were real

There was never a chance of losing you

And that kept me sane

We were tied at the pinkie

By an invisible red string

And we twisted and danced

Only every so often

Testing the strength of this cord,

It never broke

You once whispered to me

In the dead of night

_"I can see it sometimes,_

_"You know"_

I took your hand

And kissed your fingertips

_"I know,_

_"It's a treasure, just for us"_

In summertime

We would lie by the beach

My head resting

On your shoulder

My hand collapsed

Fingering the scars

Beneath your shirt

My Grandfather modelled

_"How could my genes bear,_

_"Such an ugly child?"_

He knew I starved

And this was the only thing

I dared have common knowledge

My grandmother used to visit

_"Look at you!_

_"Such an ugly child"_

One spring we met

An old woman

_"I'm old,_

_"What do you want of me?"_

She growled

Together we climbed

The gnarled branches

Of the mourning willow

That wept

But never broke

We held hands

And made a pact

_"Let's never grow old,_

_"Let's never grow bitter"_

On the night of your sweet sixteenth

We danced and drank

In celebration

Sadly, when the sunlight crept its way

Above that very willow

You were crying again

And the fires glowing fingers

Avoided your flushed cheeks

I did cut myself once

The memory is vivid

The silent white room

Its psychotic cleanliness

Its demonic purity

I spattered the room with blood

I drew words

Which I cannot remember

I cut my chest

Where he always kissed you

And I cut in between my legs

Just to see how you felt

I never told you.

On our twelfth Christmas

We climbed from our windows

Wearing nothing more

Than a shirt,

Holding hands

We walked down the silent pathways

The bitumen still hot from the day

Burning our feet

We made our way to the tip of the cliffs

And drew a blade

You cut my palm

And I cut yours

And we pressed them together in the moonlight

_"I will never let you go,"_

We swore

That was years ago

I can still feel the scar

The day the letter came

Announcing an investigation

We jumped from this point

Aware of the jagged rocks

And dangerous rips

We could land in

We jumped just to be sure

That we were free

We both made it

On a Halloween

I visited a seer

She told me my angel

Would save me

That he would never leave

That night you struck a vein

The redolent bandages

And hospital odour

Sickened me

I ran home and ate

I ate in the bathroom

By the toilet

I ate

And I purged

And without bothering to clean my hands

I ate again

My knuckles were cut and swollen

You fumbled along the bed sheets

In your big bandages

And took them

_"Forgive me,"_

I did

During my seventeenth June

A snowstorm struck

The winds huffed

And they puffed

And they blew my brick house down

Grandfather died

I lived from the basement

For a month

You sleeping beside me

Eventually the house was condemned

By now he had returned

With a slap on his wrist

I stayed with you

And that night he came

And I stood

I pulled off my clothes

And stood naked

His filthy eyes flickered

From me to you

And then he grabbed me

And took me to his room

He hit me

And he fucked me

In the morning you found out

You cried

You wept on my lap

As I sat silently

On the edge of your bed

Eventually I mustered the words;

_"He didn't hurt you,_

_"It's okay, I am happy,"_

You slapped me

And you said

_"I want to die,"_

But I replied, a promise;

_"I'll save you"_


End file.
